i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize