you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
