You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
