Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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