I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
