You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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