To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
