VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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