Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
