i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize