Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
