When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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