D3 body, D1 cock
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
