and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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