yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
