As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
