ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
we should paint friendship bongs
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