Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
