They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize