Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
This baby is an asshole
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
