I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We left an ass print on the piano.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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