is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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