Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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