I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
