she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
