Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
