I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
