Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize