why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
