FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
