my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
