So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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