Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
where are you?
Hypothermia
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
