I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
