I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Still dying that you shit outside
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
