goodnight i made you a song goodbye
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
