new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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