so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
