i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you would pick up someone in the library
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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