I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
