you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
