He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
