Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
