the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
false alarm. still invincible.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
