hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
