She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
