so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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