I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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