Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
