Don't you send me to vm
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
