If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize