No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
