i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
