I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
where does the pee come out of this thing
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
