Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Randomize
