dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
