I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
