the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
We just shotgunned beers for America
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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