only if we run a train.
done.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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