Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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