So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
