Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
