so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
