Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
