I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize