saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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